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Aldo Saturday, December 28, 2013

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WHAT WOMEN SAY: WHAT MEN HEAR-2

#RELATIONSHIPS Saturday, December 21, 2013

In the last post, we discussed on how sometimes men and women have challenges in properly communicating and what causes that challenge.

Here are some more scenarios on how and why communication gap comes about and how it can be bridged.When a woman says,' You don't love me anymore"

She means, I am feeling unloved.

The man interprets- I am not a good lover/husband, there is probably someone else showing you more love outside. I am an incompetent lover. The man hears this and starts to think of recent acts of love he has shown to his partner and he concludes that she is ungrateful. He sees the statement as an evaluation of his love and commitment.

When a woman says, " You don't help me around the house"

She means, I am a bit tired, i would like you to help me more also show appreciation when i clean up after you or do your laundry.

A amn is likely to hear- I am lazy, untidy and irresponsible. My efforst to help are not recognized. What about helping out financially, DOESNT THAT COUNT!

A woman says,' You dont share any issue with tme

She means, I wish we would talk more and make more plans together. I do not want to feel left out of anything.

The man hears/interprets; i am been secretive and I am hiding things from you. I am not been a good communicator.

These slight disagreements may escalate and become heated when in the bid for the man to defend himself, the woman interprets it as his usual and regular insensitivity and unwillingness to take correction. It is important for us women to note and the guys are not excluded on this too, that we must check how our statements would be received on the other end. Ask ourselves these questions.

How would i feel if i was asked the question in this same way?

Am i speaking emotion/ego or fact?

How does my partner really feel?

For the ladies we could try, Please help me take out the trash or Darling, kindly return the stool when you are done instead of You dnt help me around the house.

Also lets talk about the plans you have for the family this month, i want to be more involved other than You don't tell me anything.

COMMUNICATION is key and we ought to get it right,keep working till its right!

Lovely week guys.

I Celebrate You!!!

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Lipstick addict: M.A.C Invasion

candyYumYum Friday, December 20, 2013

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Funny story!

MORE Thursday, December 19, 2013

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WHAT WOMEN SAY; WHAT MEN HEAR!

Love Sunday, December 01, 2013

Joanne: You dont love me anymore.

Jack: Huh? *raises eyebrow* I took you out two days ago and the jewelry and shoes you are wearing are all gifts from me.

Joanne: I can hardly get through to you, you never understand me. You know what?! Forget it!

..................................................

Bisi: You hardly help me, especially around the house.

Chuks: Haba babe! I just got you a washing mashing and paid for house cleaning service.

Bisi: That's not helping. I wonder why i bother sharing my thoughts with you. Never mind; would do it alone.

Sometimes i wonder why there is so much communication gap between the two sexes and why it takes quite a while to understand each other. A Lady can't understand why he gives that look when she says something she thinks even a toddler should understand or why he keeps mute when she needs replies.She comes up with different ideas and conclusions in her head; He is immature, so insensitive, very uncaring, too emotional for a man EEEESSSHHH!!!! Lol! Well maybe there is a reason other than these negatives.

Most communication issues in relationships stem from a lack of understanding of the basic difference in men and women communication style.

Women are emotional communicators

Men are evaluative communicators

Women are majorly concerned about relating their views and feelings. They act on emotions: saying it how HOT it is in their hearts. She wants her partner to understand the emotional implication of his actions. In doing this we either succeed in making our partners feel more responsible or horrible; more often than not we make them feel horrible.

Men being logical thinkers and evaluative communicators read facts from what women try to communicate as against the emotions she is trying to pass across. In simpler terms, he takes it 'personal'.

More so, the man's ego and need for respect also affect his interpretation and consequent reaction to the woman.

In our next post we would examine more scenarios and discuss how best to COMMUNICATE!

Have a great week

Celebrate YOU!!!!!

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HOMOSEXUALITY: THERE IS FORGIVENESS AND A WAY OUT!

Christian living Saturday, September 28, 2013

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HOMOSEXUALS;ARE THEY BORN THAT WAY????

#nohomo Saturday, September 21, 2013

Homosexuality as defined by experts is a romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual activity between members of the same sex or gender. It is called lesbianism when it’s among females.

In the book of Leviticus 18:22 the bible says, “You shall not lay with a man as with a woman, this is an abomination” New King James Version. New Living translation of the bible says, “Do not practice homosexuality; it is a detestable sin.”

In our present day, some studies show that or rather try to make people believe that there is some ‘natural’ alteration in their body chemistry that draws them(homosexuals) to persons of the same sex and as such they have to or ought to be free.

Jude 1 verses 5-7 recounts the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, where God sent an angel to wipe out/ destroy a whole city because of this detestable act!

I then ask myself when I hear people say homosexuals are born that way; why would God wipe out a nation for homosexuality if He created them that way or if He intended for them to act that way. God may as well strike me down because my skin is colored or because I have thick skin.

Also the implication of this is that if I am a thief, a liar, a rapist, terrorist, addict or anything else I could claim that God made me that way.

IT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOD’S WISH OR PLAN and He wants to protect us from this demonic and unnatural passion. It’s a plan of the devil and it dates back to bible days and is not just a present evil. Genesis chapter 19 tells us about the angels of God that visited Lot. In the first verses of this chapter, the men of Sodom openly wanted to have sexual relations with the angels who happened to be Lots visitors. These men even refused to have sexual relations with females. A set of stoned hearted sexually perverted men!

Presently a lot of Television shows, series, and movies are trying to paint homosexuality as a way to go. They show them as great parents to their adopted children, they portray them as great neighbors, they make homosexuality look normal and are trying to make present and coming generation believe that they should be open minded and be free with their sexuality. Some other countries are legalizing same sex marriages.

This is part of the mastermind of the devil to get his ideas more and more into our heads and the church and bible believers should not sit down and cross our legs whilst this is happening.

GOD HELP US!

Premarital sex

#nosexbeforemarriage Sunday, August 18, 2013

Hoses 4;6. It is God's wish that you know and understand sex. His words includes amazing abundance of information about sex. He is also very protective about sex because he knows us, created us and the sex drive, Gen 2;7. It is important for us to know that God has the final word on any issue including sex. He created the world and is all sovereign and His word (the bible) has absolute AUTHORITY AND FINALITY.

In Deuteronomy 22;28-29 God deals with sexual intercourse between two unmarried people who mutually agree to have intercourse,In our present time they say "consenting adults". This part of scripture says the man humbles the woman, Message translation says "grabs and rapes" another says 'violates'. Sex is soo powerful it could humiliate or violate and on another hand give pleasure. Sex bonds a man and a woman as ONE flesh, Gen 2;24. As far as God is concerned you are One with whomever you have sex with.

Sex involves the body, soul, and spirit. It involves the mind, emotions, will (soul) the sexual organs (physical body) and of course the spirit since we are spirit beings.

God intends that sex should be an expression of love, a joining force, a pleasure agent and a procreation 'tool' to couples ONLY IN THE CONFINES of MARRIAGE and HOLY MATRIMONY.

Not only is premarital sex Biblically wrong, but it is dangerous. In the matter of minutes within a sexual encounter- your life can be cut short years. Sexually Transmitted Diseases are not a myth- they exist. In Africa alone, more than 17 million have died from AIDS and another 25 million are infected with the HIV virus. Not only could you possibly infect yourself, but imagine if you or your partner got pregnant and passed this incredible disease onto a child.

No one ever said it would be easy, and my suggestion to you would be to set up some boundaries. Some people have said that it all started with "making out/kissing". If that is where you start to lose control, you need to cut it short way before then.(read the previous post on kissing for more insight). This will have to be a life-changing decision, and you will not be able to do it on your own. Surround yourself with Godly friends that you can talk to, and make sure they will hold you accountable. Most importantly- talk to God! As long as you keep that communication going, He will give you strength!

Ultimately- you are a child of God, and He has given us sex as something to enjoy as husband and wife. Imagine how wonderful it will be to share all of yourself, without feeling any guilt or remorse. You also can feel better about yourself, knowing that you had enough respect for yourself, your future spouse, and God, to wait.

I recommend you read these books

1. Sex-straight talk by Sam Adeyemi

2. 60 things God says about sex by Lester Sumrall

3. I loved a girl by Walter Trobisch

4. Human reproduction and sexual behavior by C. W Lloyd

HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK.

CELEBRATE YOU!!

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Kissing before Marriage? YAY or NAY!!?

#whatdoesthebiblesay Sunday, August 11, 2013

I know what God says about sex before marriage. My question is -- what about kissing? Doesn't kissing lead to impure thoughts? What do we believe God has to say about kissing before marriage?

Uhmmmm I've seen both sides taken within the Christian church. A wonderful church that I attended and that i am a part of very strongly teaches that christian couples, still dating of course, should avoid kissing and your first kiss should happen at the altar. Now, that wouldn't be me. O.k it could be me, LOL! but no one would love to stand up in the church and say OH please lets do it! We all want to and we are all young with racing hormones. Also some people would say IT's my life and no one should tell me how to act with my partner but that is the joy of being a CHRISTIAN ;), we have to be accountable and every part of our lives- we ought to live by instruction; we have to follow the bible, the leading of the HOLY SPIRIT or for issues not directly spoken about in the bible we follow our church doctrine.The Bible says, whatsoever is not of faith is sin. So, maybe we need to get honest with ourselves. If we can do that (kissing) in faith and believe that it will not go farther, then by all means do. But if we in our own hearts, have reservations about it and say 'I can't do that in faith', 'I'm going to start having impure thoughts', then my body is going to start kicking in and desire something more than just a kiss, then I think we need to say o.k I'm going to build a wall here and I'm going to make it known that kissing is not acceptable for me.

Another issue that was raised in a church and taught by a female preacher whose ministry was on single and married (she is resting with the lord now) was that kissing isn't encouraged or that kind of activity unless we know that there is going to be a lifelong bond. Part of kissing is also sharing, sharing of your innermost being. And you may not want to do that unless you are sure that this person is going to be with you for a lifetime.

A final point i want to raise is in 1 Thessalonians 5;22, 'flee all appearances of evil' a translation of the bible, message translation to be specific says avoid anything tainted with evil, so if to you its evil or bad or the spirit of God pricks you when you do it, PLEASE AVOID IT. The thing is that it may not be evil or bad in itself but it leads or could lead to the greater evil (sex and all forms of sexual activities including thoughts) so its important to set standards in this area. Let us work at pleasing God even in what looks like the smallest or most stupid thing.

HAVE A SPLENDID WEEK!

CELEBRATE YOU!!!!!

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RELATIONSHIPS- ITS PURPOSE

#itspurpose Saturday, August 03, 2013

hello God-fam,

Over the years i have always loved to read on love and relationships. i was always interested in my friends relationships and giving out advice on what i had researched on, read or experienced. the passion moved to me writing and i wrote a couple of articles in some magazines and i had a personal mission to help people especially Christians including myself on relationships.

So i decided or let me say i was inspired, lol, to share some of them with you here. Love and relationships originated from God and we cannot but talk about it in helping people grow in God. Enjoy!

Relationships could be casual like for friendship, official for business, academic or for corporate purposes and romanticfor love, commitment and companionship. Most activities be it business, social or religious cannot be carried out with human inter relationship.It is important for us to understand that there is a purpose for relationships. An understanding of this fact would probably change your perspective on relationships; bring to light the BIG PICTURE that God himself intended. Did you know that God created humans for the purpose of establishing relationships? His sole aim for creating man was for relationship with Himself and other men. Man was not meant to work in isolation.

It had been ordained in God’s creation plan for humans to be together and relate with one another especially for companionship. In Genesis 2: 18 God said “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him”.

God created relationships to kill the human’s selfish nature. Man would have grown terribly self- centred if he could do everything and achieve everything by him self without external help or effort from other men. He would have raised himself above God and not recognize the presence of a supreme being since he could do all by himself.

God also created romantic relationships to teach man how to love, commit to another and share life’s dreams, goals and visions with someone (the partner) so he put the need in man for love, commitment and companionship, a need for relationships, romantic relationships so he created attraction. The sole purpose of attraction was to bring the man and woman together with the desire to spend their lives together. He intended that visions, dreams and goals would be achieved by man and woman together in marriage.

Procreation was also in God’s plan but only in the content of marriage. He intended that the man and woman would come together in marriage and give birth to children, who would also find partners and give birth, continuing the cycle and achieving God’s plan of multiplying and replenishing the earth.

God created us to work together, be together, and love each other. No man is to be alone (by him self or without help). We are all expected and created to live our lives or share our lives with others.

CELEBRATE YOU!!!!

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going bright!!

WHAT WOMEN SAY: WHAT MEN HEAR-2

Lipstick addict: M.A.C Invasion

Funny story!

WHAT WOMEN SAY; WHAT MEN HEAR!

HOMOSEXUALITY: THERE IS FORGIVENESS AND A WAY OUT!

HOMOSEXUALS;ARE THEY BORN THAT WAY????

Premarital sex

Kissing before Marriage? YAY or NAY!!?

RELATIONSHIPS- ITS PURPOSE

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